A long awaited time

So I'm scared. I'm pretty dang excited, but I'm scared. It's like the first day of high school all over again.

I have a job interview at The Journal Gazette on Monday and I have to impress all these people and not freak out.

It's like I'm totally excited and scared shitless at the same time.

Oh the places I will go

Where the world will take me, I do not know.

Let me just count them.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

There are 8. 8. How can I possibly handle that many? When it rains it pours.

My heart is torn in three.

A part of me doesn't want to leave.

The rest of me doesn't really know.

I'll keep you my dirty little secret...

I really think that is how I am to a lot of people. I'm just some big secret part of their lives that they don't want other people to know exists.

I'm always just some girl. When do I get to be more than some girl? I'm tired of being someone's secret. I want to be someone's someone.

It's all just a waiting game now. Maybe I'll let this game decide...obviously it will, but where I end up will be only because of the game and not by my choosing. I'm tired of blaming myself for the course which my life has run...it shall now be something else...just so I can displace the blame elsewhere.

On a completely unrelated note, the world as become to reliant on technology that it's disturbing. Friend has become a verb because of Facebook. My wireless was out for a few days and people didn't even talk to me. They have my number. They could have called. However, they just wait until I get back online to my AIM to talk to me. Oh well.

Eleven applications later and I'm waiting. Arizona, New Mexico, Kansas City, Indiana, Florida, North Carolina, Colorado, D.C, Iowa, Louisiana. Who knows what will happen. I don't even know where I want to go. I'd like Phoenix, Kansas City or Miami, but only time will tell.

Through so many things, I will learn patience.